Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Lance Armstrong is scared to race me!

Ok, so Lance wasn't going to actually race me (because he's intimidated, obviously!), but we were going to be competing in Ironman triathlons on the same day.  I'm pretty sure he made his schedule this way so that he could compare himself to me, but not actually go head to head, effectively avoiding total embarrassment.  However, Lance has a new trick up his sleeve!

Today, or some time very recent, Lance contacted the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency and begged them to open a new case against him, with fresh doping charges.  Why would he do this? you may ask.  Well, it's actually brilliant.  By having the USADA open a fresh case against him, he is now prohibited from competing in any sanctioned events, including those run by World Triathlon Corporation (the Ironman brand).

The only reason that I'm quite positive that Mr. Lance Armstrong pulled this stunt is because there's no way that the USADA would be stupid enough to go through this whole Lance/Doping mess again.  Wait.  Hold on.  Ah crap.  I just read the article again, and sure enough, they are that stupid.  Oh man!  Here we go again.  What an absolute waste of time.  Nobody cares any more whether or not Lance doped during The Tour!  The only reason they are doing this is to try and ruin Lance as an athlete.  All previous charges were dropped back in February.  So Lance picks up where he left off, being a super-human athlete, and as soon as he starts to gain a little momentum, BAM!.  In comes the USADA with a fresh set of charges, which prevents Lance from competing any more.  What does that really mean?  Well, it means that Lance won't be able to qualify for Kona this year, because I'm sure this crap is going to drag on forever and ever.  And the USADA isn't going to stop until the find him guilty, regardless of whether or not he actually did anything.

It's a sad day in the world of endurance sports.  Lance Armstrong was bringing a whole new spotlight to the world of triathlon, and Ironman in particular.  But now, because of some personal vendetta that the USADA has against Lance, that dim little light has burned out.  LAME!

So.......forget I said any of that and let's just pretend that Lance was scared to race the same distance, on the same day as me.  That sounds more exciting that this stupid USADA witch hunt.


  1. Man, that's a bummer. But yeah, I'll buy what you're selling. He was scared.

    The day is getting close. If you had one piece of advice for IM CDA, what would it be?

  2. He avoided coming up to me at the 70.3 Honu. He knew, oh he knew.
    Also, this whole testing thing is crazy dumb.

  3. Hey Go Easy Life! I'm soooo sorry I didn't respond to your comment earlier. Things got pretty crazy with getting ready for the 20+ hour drive to Idaho and making sure I was ready for the race.

    Now that the race is over, I would give the same advice that I would have given before I did the race. And that is to make sure you take it easy on the hills during the bike. Especially during the first lap! If you come out too strong on those hills, it could ruin your day. Or, if you end up having a headwind like we did during lap 2, you wouldn't have anything left!

    Dirtbag. Good to hear from you. Mr. Armstrong seems to be pretty good at avoiding us. And can you blame him? I sure can't. And yep, this test stuff is completely stupid. An utter waste of time.